When I tell people I’m studying engineering, I usually get some variation of “Oh wow, that must be so hard!”
And yeah — it is.
But what most people don’t realize is that I spent two full years of my undergrad doing it with undiagnosed ADHD.

I didn’t know why I couldn’t study the way everyone else seemed to. I’d sit at my desk, desperately trying to focus, and end up spiraling unless I chugged caffeine like it was oxygen. I thought I was just lazy or lacking discipline — you know, all the fun self-blame things we tell ourselves when our brains won’t cooperate.

Year One: Adrenaline and Adaptation

My first year? Honestly, I managed. I was able to push through with adrenaline-fueled cramming sessions, late-night study marathons, and sheer determination. I even got good grades. It wasn’t sustainable, but I didn’t know that yet.

Year Two: Everything Fell Apart

Second year hit me like a truck.

I moved off campus, which meant I was now juggling full independence — cooking, cleaning, commuting, laundry, all the grown-up things no one teaches you how to balance with a full course load. The systems that held me together in first year were gone, and my anxiety? Through. The. Roof. Looking back now, I’m almost certain that what I called “anxiety” was actually ADHD-related emotional overwhelm — something I didn’t have the words for at the time.

I eventually started anxiety medication (which helped, but not entirely), and between school stress, life stress, and brain stress, I was barely holding on by the end of second semester. Everything just felt like too much. I was tired of constantly feeling behind no matter how hard I tried.

Coming Home (and Getting Answers)

When I came home for the summer, everything changed.
I finally got assessed and diagnosed with ADHD.

Getting that diagnosis honestly felt like someone turned on a light in my brain. Things started to make sense — the procrastination, the overwhelm, the way I’d either hyperfocus for six hours straight or stare at the wall for three. For the first time, I didn’t feel broken. I felt understood.

I started ADHD medication, and while I’m still learning and adjusting, the difference has been huge. I feel more productive, I procrastinate less, and I’m able to manage my emotions better (even if they still sneak up on me sometimes). I obviously haven’t returned to university yet, so I can’t say how things will go next semester — but I feel hopeful. I feel more human.

Getting Ready to Go Back

That said, I’m not going into it blindly this time. I’ve been slowly prepping for my return — building better systems, reflecting on what didn’t work before, and creating tools that actually support the way my brain functions (like the planner I am designing). I’m approaching next semester with a lot more self-awareness, and that honestly makes all the difference.

Gratitude in the Chaos

I’m incredibly grateful to have the resources and support to figure all this out.
It’s not perfect — ADHD never really is — but I finally feel like I have a foundation to build on. For school. For work. For life. For me.